2018 (Original Timeline)

This is a page about what happened in 2018, in the original timeline.

March
Unknown Dates In March 2018 24th
 * Lenny and his talking cat, Clifton, are featured on "Celebrity Pet Psychic with Dr. Williams"
 * Lenny and Clifton are featured on "What's Trending", hosted by Shira Lazar. Clifton kicks Lazar in the nose, probably breaking it. After this, Clifton goes crazy and starts acting out.
 * Martine Beerman covers this on her show "Celebrity Gossip with Martine". Clifton interrupts the show by scaring Martine away.
 * Lenny and Clifton are interviewed about their daily life.

April
4th 24th
 * Helen Brownstein gets fired from her job as a hall monitor for bad language around the kids.
 * Grandpa takes his grandchild, Timmy, to London with him. There, Grandpa expresses his hate of London and also gets kicked out of a mall.

May
5th 13th
 * Dorian Ditsen wakes up and goes about his daily routine.
 * His neighbor, Marcy dies, much to Dorian's joy about it.
 * Kathy, her baby, Grandpa, Sam, Donna, Japanese Girlfriend, Bryce Tankthrust, Elmer, Dorian Ditsen, Helen Brownstein and Jurgen react to "A Day At The Park" a video filmed of them 2 years ago in 2016.

June
3rd
 * The trailer for an American chick flick comes out.

August
1st 2nd 3rd
 * Clifton tells Lenny that he's never coming home, to which Lenny replies that he won't two seconds in Livermore, only to run after the cat after he runs away.
 * Jurgen Klausvonschwitz and his girlfriend Sookilah go see a psychic, who tells them that Jurgen has a long lost son.
 * Sookliah asks in surprise that they have a son, only for the psychic to say that only Jurgen does, and that he had him for before he met Sookilah.
 * Jurgen says that he remembers and that he didn't care he was kidnapped 15 years ago because he was just a baby.
 * Sookilah tells Jurgen that he never told her he has a son. Jurgen responds saying he has many secrets, including that he has syphilis, Sookliah curses in frustration.
 * Jurgen turns towards the psychic to ask her if his son is still alive, to which she responds "barley".
 * Jurgen slams the table and stands up, exclaiming they are going to find his son.
 * Sookliah says she's not coming, the psychic makes a "that's what she said" joke.
 * Sookliah says that his son could be dead, and that for all they know the psychic could be a fraud.
 * The psychic, ignoring Sookilah's comment, says that since he's blind, it's too big of a risk.
 * Jurgen says that if he wasn't a risk taker then for her to explain why his girlfriend his black.
 * Sookliah puts her finger over her lips, signaling for the psychic to not say anything.
 * Helen lands herself a job working as a lifeguard for Venice Beach, a job she will want to quit in 3 hours.
 * At Venice Beach, Flint Dicker and his TV30 crew do a news report of the record pounding heat wave happening in California. While there, he interviews Donna Phitts and Grandpa. They express how hot it is.
 * Grandpa exclaims why he is only at the beach; it's because he's lost and they have free water and a free toilet.
 * Grandpa drinks water from the Pacific Ocean while going to the bathroom in it.
 * Grandpa says that a little boy he sees needs to lose some weight. In reality, it's just a seagull walking.
 * Grandpa starts clapping and complementing an interracial couple.
 * Grandpa asks Dicker if he could give him a ride home, only for Dicker to cut away and call it "fake news".
 * Dicker then plays a clip sent to them by Lenny.
 * The clip is the viral video of Clifton kicking Shira Lazar in the face.
 * Dicker explains that Clifton has been missing for two days, and that Lenny has something to say. Lenny asks that anyone has any information to call him at a number, only for Dicker to cut him off so they can move on to exploiting someone, or "interview" them.
 * Dicker asks Helen Brownstein, now a lifeguard, "How does it feel to be a loser?" Helen replies with "What?" Dicker quickly changes "a loser" to "a lifeguard".
 * Helen exclaims how she's been for about 3 hours and that she's ready to quit.
 * Helen yells at people for running, saying it's not a cute.
 * Helen throws a pool noodle at someone.
 * Helen then yells over a mega phone that 50% of all the married couples at the beach will be divorced sometime in the future.
 * Dicker asks her if she enjoys saving lives, to which she replies no, and that she pours blood into the ocean to attract sharks; but that they're just like her, they never come.
 * Over the mega phone again, Helen screams she's not yelling because she's angry, but because she's on LSD.
 * While walking on the shoreline, a ball of seaweed gets thrown at her vagina, making her say she's been assaulted in one out of two of her private parts.
 * Sebastian and Ignacio high five each other after hitting her in the vagina.
 * Helen asks why they are not in school, to which the boys respond with the same answer. Helen finally says she's been fired.
 * Helen then says that being a hall monitor was the only job she ever cared about and how she thinks she'll never be happy before being cut off again by Sebastian throwing seaweed in her face.
 * Helen tells the boys that they made a mistake, turning a siren on on the mega phone. Sebastian tells Ignacio that they have to run.
 * In the parking lot, Helen chases them, saying she's going to crucifix them. Sebastian continues to tell Ignacio to run.
 * Sebastian bumps into Jurgen Klausvonschwitz, the latter telling him to watch where he is going.
 * Dicker interviews Jurgen, the latter telling him his name and that he is a "creative genius".
 * Jurgen tells them that he suffers from a disability that he will not tell them, only to bump and fall onto a garbage can.
 * Jurgen explains that last night he was told by a psychic that he has a long lost son.
 * Jurgen then says that he left for the "sandy deserts in Nevada" to find his son and be the good father he never wanted to be. Jurgen realizes that he is talking to no one.